Love and Other Calamities Read online

  Love and Other Calamities

  Virginia Nelson

  Contents

  Dedication

  Love and Other Calamities

  Foreword

  Prologue

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Epilogue

  About the Author

  Find More Magic and Mayhem

  Copyright © 2021 by Virginia Nelson

  All rights reserved.

  No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

  This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, businesses, companies, events, or locales is coincidental.

  This book contains content that may not be suitable for young readers 17 and under.

  The Author of this Book has been granted permission by Robyn Peterman to use the copyrighted characters and/or worlds created by Robyn Peterman in this book. All copyright protection to the original characters and/or worlds of the Magic and Mayhem series is retained by Robyn Peterman.

  Created with Vellum

  Dedication

  Dedicated to Louise.

  Thanks for the soap, friendship, and advice. <3

  Love and Other Calamities

  As a powerful witch marked by the universe, Bobsy Blatherskite saved the world from an apocalypse at the age of thirteen. By twenty, she saved the world twice. Her life has been filled with adventure, excitement, and she’s proud to have been the hero so many times…

  But she’s aging and alone and not sure what to do next. Love? Seems like a mundane goal, but it is what everyone else is doing, so Bobsy joins a website and begins to go on a series of first dates. It might not be a dangerous job, but she’s sure she can accomplish her goal like she has so many of her others—if you can beat universal odds, after all, how hard can dating be?

  Enter Ambrose Foster—the perfect man. Or is he? She couldn’t have swiped right on the one witch hunter on the whole dating site, right?

  Foreword

  Blast Off with us into the Magic and Mayhem Universe!

  I’m Robyn Peterman, the creator of the Magic and Mayhem Series and I’d like to invite you to my Magic and Mayhem Universe.

  What is the Magic and Mayhem Universe, you may ask?

  Well, let me explain…

  It’s basically authorized fan fiction written by some amazing authors that I stalked and blackmailed! KIDDING! I was lucky and blessed to have some brilliant authors say yes! They have written brand new stories using my world and some of my characters. And let me tell you…the results are hilarious!

  So here it is! Blast off with us into the hilarious Magic and Mayhem Universe. Side splitting books by fantabulous authors! Check out each and every one. You will laugh your way to a magical HEA!

  For all the stories, go to https://magicandmayhemuniverse.com/. Grab your copy today!

  And if you would like to read the book that started all the madness, Switching Hour is FREE!

  https://robynpeterman.com/switching-hour/

  Prologue

  Although cool air kissed Bobsy Blatherskite’s face with a gentle touch, the screams she could hear in the distance somewhat threw off the ambiance of the night. She glanced at her watch as she jogged toward the source of the sound. “We’ve got less than five minutes left!” she yelled over her shoulder without breaking pace.

  “I know!” The witch behind her could barely get the words out past her own panting as she ran with her arms beating the air. “We can make it!”

  Bobsy wasn’t as confident, but she would give it her best. The buildings blew past her in fast forward as her spell-enhanced jog ate up the city streets. A strange blue glow down a side street had her swerving to a wobbly turn in that direction. Fewer screams led the way, and she tried to tell herself it was because they’d run away; they’d gotten to safety before it was too late.

  Her gut feared they’d gone silent for another reason…

  She couldn’t think about it. Not when she held the key to saving the world.

  The blue glow became clearer as she approached. Blue flames licked up the sides of the skyscrapers, a pillar of light piercing the otherwise still and dark night. The moon dimmed in their presence, stars vanishing in a neon blast. She couldn’t see the whole thing, not from on the street, but based on her knowledge of the magic at hand, she’d guess it was a perfect circle of blue fire. It probably glowed all the way into space, and who knew how high the fire actually burned? The few people she passed as she approached the wall of fire all focused on the scene, heads craned back to help them better see the size and scope of their impending doom.

  “Run away or something!” she yelled, but none of them did more than spare her a glance. After a few seconds of thinking them as dumb as a deer frozen in the headlights of a car, she realized suddenly why the people and the deer froze like that.

  It was because they knew, understood on some deep, primal level, that nothing they did would stop their doom.

  “I got this,” she panted at the next unresponsive person she passed. Because, unlike them, she could help.

  The fire burned cold, which made no sense, but the air chilled dramatically the closer she got to the site, making it all the harder for her stiffening muscles to keep her running. Her sweat froze on her skin, but she gritted her teeth and pushed just a little harder. Another glance at her watch had her calling back, “Two minutes.”

  No response after a few seconds had her darting a glance behind her, only to stumble as horror broke her stride. Camellia, her partner in this operation, lay writhing in the street as if some invisible force convulsed her muscles all at once. All the other people she’d passed had crumbled as well, all twisting and contorting in obvious agony.

  Bobsy spun in a slow circle, realizing the world around her had exploded in pain, yet she was fine…

  Wasn’t she?

  She didn’t have time to think about it or do anything for them other than finish her task. Sucking in a deep lungful of icy air, Bobsy set off again toward the wall of frozen flames.

  There wasn’t time for her to consider whether or not it was safe—she already knew it wasn’t safe and it could kill her, but if she didn’t try, their world would be destroyed. With that in mind, Bobsy sucked in one final gasp of air and plunged through the wall of fire itself.

  It burned, but like frostbite rather than anything warm or comforting. Her skin felt as if it might bubble and pop off her muscles and, for a couple of precious seconds, she could do no more than scream at the agony of the sensations flooding her body. Then, against all odds, she was through the wall.

  At the center of the circle, a small child stood holding the hand of what looked like a wraith from stories of old. The shadowy figure didn’t appear imposing, despite its torn grey hooded robes. It appeared to be a parent or guardian simply holding the hand of the tiny child. The girl looked sweet and innocent—blond hair neatly braided in two identical plaits hanging around a cherubic face. The only thing really off about the scene—besides the wall of icy flames and the wraith, of course—was the child’s eyes.

  They glowed a blue identical to that of the fire surrounding them in a neat circle.

  “Tabby!” Bobsy cried, reaching a hand towa
rd the child. “It is time for your nap.”

  The little girl stuck out her lip in a pout and raised one hand in a stop gesture. “I’m not tired,” the child insisted.

  From the pocket of her hoodie, Bobsy yanked the tool she’d brought to help her save the world. “I’ve got cookies,” she said to the kid, shaking the bag gently where the girl could see it. “Chocolate chip, your favorite.”

  The kid perked up again, and the wall of fire seemed to pulse and grow. “Give them to me, then maybe nap,” Tabby hedged.

  Bobsy spent a good moment gritting her teeth and reminding herself that exactly this kind of thing—an apocalypse bearing spawn hellbent on destroying the very fabric of reality rather than taking a nap—was why she didn’t have children. But the cold snapped her out of her revere rather quickly, so she shook the bag of cookies again, a move something like a lion tamer facing down a toothy beast with nothing more than a pork chop as defense. “If you want the cookies, you’ll have to come with me.”

  “Mama said not to go anywhere with strangers, not even for cookies, but that was before…”

  “Before she died, was snatched away from you. You cried a lot, didn’t you, Tabby?” chimed in the wraith-like creature unhelpfully.

  The little girl’s bottom lip trembled and her eerily glowing eyes glistened with unshed tears. “Yeah,” she said, her voice seeming even more childish, as if she regressed right before Bobsy’s eyes. “I did. I miss my mama.”

  “She didn’t have to die,” the wraith began. “And we can make the ones who took her away from you pay for what they did, can’t we?”

  “That won’t bring her back,” Bobsy said as a new wave of power erupted from the child in a blast of frigid air. “Tabby, you don’t want to hurt people, do you?”

  “Yes,” the wraith agreed, his voice going oily with deceit. “You do want to hurt people, all of the people who took your mama away, don’t you, Tabby?”

  Time was up. Since her power somehow made her mostly immune to the ice flowing around them in oddly fluid rivers, Bobsy approached the child, kneeling to meet the florescent eyes. “Do you want to hurt your grandma?” she asked the child, playing her most powerful card in hopes of diverting the end of the world.

  The glow dimmed a bit. Not much, but it dimmed. “I could never hurt Gramma,” Tabby insisted.

  “You’re doing this to protect her from hurting like you hurt,” the wraith began.

  But Bobsy had enough of his shit. She swung out a single leg, trying to trip the ghost-like being, but since it was floating, her leg simply swiped its robes aside a little. The act might have been otherwise ineffective, but it did make Tabby giggle and some of the glow in her eyes dimmed as the creature’s control of her ebbed a bit.

  Viewing this progress as an opening, Bobsy looked straight in the little girl’s eyes. “He means you’re going to kill her,” she said honestly. The child’s lip quavered again, making Bobsy feel awful, but there would be plenty of time to get the kid some therapy if she didn’t destroy the world today. “Do you think killing your grandma is protection, Tabby?”

  “Killing is wrong,” Tabby said simply with the surety of everything being either good or bad that only a child can believe.

  “It is,” Bobsy agreed, though she wouldn’t mind killing the wraith.

  “You told me this would help everyone,” said Tabby, turning on the wraith with her hands on her tiny hips. “You said this would make everyone better.”

  “It will,” the wraith explained. “No one will hurt anymore.”

  “Hurting is part of life, sweetie,” Bobsy explained. “This thing is trying to convince you to kill everyone, so they don’t hurt anymore, but they won’t be alive, either. Do you want that?”

  The flames went white with power, the blue washed away with straight up ice that chilled Bobsy to her marrow. But, before her teeth could even chatter from the agony of freezing, the flames guttered and died altogether.

  Two heartbeats passed where no one did anything more than look around in shock. Bobsy hadn’t realized they were shouting to be heard over the roar of the flames, but the absolute absence of sound made her ears pop.

  “You okay?” she asked Tabby as she looked around at the destroyed city street. It looked like a bomb had gone off, rending the buildings and sidewalks, but when she glanced back at the child, she saw Tabby holding her hands over her ears defensively.

  “I can’t get his voice out of my head,” the little girl whispered, and the wraith leaned closer as if to whisper something to the child.

  Making two fists, Bobsy called on her own powers. It was time. “By the power of my ancestors, who stood between the mortals and the dragons, I call upon the earth to cleanse this taint. Take back this festering monstrosity and purify…” Bobsy liked to imagine the purification had to do with burning in lava, a fitting punishment for trying to turn Earth into a popsicle, but it wasn’t for her to decide. “the wounds it has left in its wake.”

  Her fists glowed red, a sparkling color that ended in sparks of gold. Lifting her fists, she aimed them both at the creature, power dripping off her aligned hands like molten steel. The power gathered in her, and she yelled the word of incantation—not in English, but she’d practiced to be sure she got the pronunciation right—which freed her spell to capture its target.

  Red with golden sparks flowed from Bobsy and surrounded the creature, who writhed much as the people on the street had writhed. It seemed painful, and Bobsy let herself smile at what she saw as totally karma.

  The little girl looked scared for a second, but then she stood a little straighter. “Whatever she said.” Tabby pointed at Bobsy. “Make it double, cuz I don’t want to hurt my grandma.”

  Although the child’s voice wavered, her intent was clear, and—as the whole mess proved—intent could be powerful when wielded without the restrictions of an adult brain filled with consequences. The wraith-like creature vanished in a puff of smoke.

  Although the creature had vanished, Bobsy knew from past experience it would be back. No sense telling the kid that, especially since Tabby was gazing around herself in horror.

  “Did I do all this?” Tabby whispered in a small voice. Her little hands were tucked close to her body in fists, the defensive posture proving she was scared, if the words hadn’t given that fact away already.

  “We can fix it,” Bobsy said, kneeling before her. She took the child’s hands in her own and said, “But it is going to be hard. Can you help me?”

  The little girl gazed around herself at the broken windows and blobs of clothing that likely were frozen people, but Bobsy didn’t want her focus lost on all of that. She clutched the small hands a bit tighter, willing her own warmth to be shared with the child. “Can you help me?” she repeated.

  Although her chin wobbled dangerously, as if tears might erupt any second, Tabby nodded. She gripped Bobsy’s hands and met her gaze. “What do I have to do?”

  “Close your eyes,” Bobsy explained. “Breathe with me, nice and slow. Ignore everything around us and just focus on my voice and my breaths… can you do that?”

  Tabby’s eyes closed, and she breathed with Bobsy. In return, Bobsy slowed her own breaths and closed her eyes. “Now that we’re both a little calmer,” she said softly in her calmest and most measured tone, “Let’s remember what the street looked like this morning. Can you remember that, Tabby?”

  “Yeah,” Tabby said softly, in an almost dreamy tone. “The sun was shining, and the birds were singing. People were busy and life was going on like normal…”

  The wobble in her voice warned Bobsy, so she decided to face the problem head on. “And that made you mad, because you miss your mom, huh?”

  “Yeah,” agreed Tabby with a small sob. “Everyone is going on like life is normal, but it isn’t, because she’s not here with me anymore. That’s not okay.”

  Bobsy threw professionalism out the window and hugged the child, eyes still closed and breathing still measured. “She’s wi
th you, Tabby. She’s in your heart and memories, and she wants to see you make more memories and grow into the beautiful, strong, smart woman you will be one day.”

  “How do you know?” asked the girl with a sniffle.

  “Sometimes, when we hurt, it is because we’re so full of love. We love someone so much, and it is like that love has nowhere to go when they’re gone, so it grows so big, it hurts. For you to love your mama that much, it means she loved you and loved you well, right?” Bobsy still didn’t open her eyes, but she could feel warm, cleansing magic flowing around and through her and the girl.

  “She really did,” Tabby agreed, crying harder. “She loved me so much.”

  Patting the child’s back, Bobsy dared a peek. The street looked normal around them, people blinking in confusion as if not sure how they got to be where they were or what was happening. “Look around, Tabby.”

  Tabby opened her eyes, but she cried harder. “Everything is back the way it was, but I still hurt,” she explained.

  “I know, kiddo. But you did really good today,” Bobsy said, tossing a nod to her team. The other two witches had also apparently recovered, and they joined Tabby and Bobsy on the sidewalk with grim faces. “Everything is going to be fine.”

  It didn’t take long to return Tabby to her daycare and get the area cleansed with four witches on the case, but for Bobsy, it seemed to take forever. She planned to check on the kid, to make sure she got the help she needed. Yeah, it hurt to grieve, but maybe it was worse when no one around her realized how deep that pain ran.